Never ever will I buy a massage off of Groupon again. I think that there must be a reason why they are needing additional advertising. I just had the most awkward, uncomfortable experience ever. 

Tim and I show up to the massage place 10 minutes late because we couldn't find the place. We couldn't find it because it was just a room in the back of a little tiny gym. So gross in there by the way.

By the time we fill out the endless amount of paper work it is 20 past the hour. A lady stands there with a rather large man and they tell us to follow them into the back. The woman tells Tim to follow her and I start panicking. I did not want to be in that tiny room with that old man haha!

We walk in the room and he tells me to undress to how I feel most comfortable but that most people find being completely nude most comfortable.

I had just come from the temple so I didn't have time to run home and grab an extra pair of undies so I was stuck. Oh man. TMI? Sorry.

Is it normal for them to start massaging your actual BUTT CHEEK? I think not. I was just dying. I freeze up when I feel uncomfortable though and so I just laid there holding my breath. Let's just say it continued to be very uncomfortable. Especially when the sweat dripped off of him and landed on my chin, I could have thrown up. So gross.

Will I be using his buy 10 massages get 1 free? Heck to the no. 

Ahh! It is finally here! Today Tim and I were talking and we almost feel like we got so used to being engaged it's hard to believe we will actually be married soon! 

Today (Saturday) our mattress is being delivered, I'm picking up my mom from the airport, and then having my bridal shower with the Eaton & Eakle clan!

Sunday I am PICKING UP TIM FROM THE AIRPORT! I am beyond excited. I miss him so much, it will be so great to have him here finally. 

Tim will be working Monday and Tuesday so I'll try to finish up all the last minute wedding preparations so we can relax and enjoy the next few days.

Friday night my family will arrive and also some of my dear friends from out of state!

Next comes SATURDAY the WEDDING DAY!

I'm so excited to make that special promise with my sweetheart. He is the most incredible person I have ever met and I am so fortunate to be able to spend forever with him. 

Cheers to a fantastic week!

I can hardly believe that the end of summer is actually here! I wrapped up summer with a visit to Bear Lake with aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. It was the perfect end to summer.

I moved myself into our new apartment in Salt Lake! It is a bit quiet, but it is fun being in my own place. I am quite anxious for Tim to get back to help me find some furniture. For now it's just me, an air mattress, a yoga mat, and hardwood floors.

Only 1 more week until Tim gets back from Utah and 2 more weeks until we get married! Ahh I am so excited.

New York City. Where do I even begin? How about the beginning.

Thursday

• Got ripped off by the taxi driver who dropped us off at our hotel from the airport
• Explored Times Square
• Figured out the Subway system
• Met up with Tim once he got off work (So great! I missed him so much!)
• Ate at the best burger place ever (Shake Shack!)

Friday

• Statue of Liberty
• Ellis Island
• Saw more European tourists than I have seen in my entire life!
• Date night with my love once he got off work (Dinner at the National, chocolate mousse cheesecake at a little diner and a stroll around the lovely streets of NY

Saturday

• Walked the Brooklyn Bridge
• Explored Chinatown & Little Italy
• Did lots of bartering and ended up with perfume and some original artwork from a great local artist 
•  We tried to win tickets to go see Wicked, but didn't get them
• Tim and I walked for miles and miles all over the city

Sunday

• Church at the chapel above the Manhattan LDS Temple
• Walked around Central Park
• Watched a group of homeless hippies get into an argument about the bombing of Hiroshima & John Lennon

Monday

• Walked the Highline
• Explored SoHo, Chelsea, and the Financial District
• Ate the best pizza ever in the Fashion District for $1!
• Saw the World Trade Center Memorial (It was shocking being right there imagining what it would have been like being there that day)
• Saw my very 1st broadway play, Peter and the Star Catcher! I loved it! We were able to get 1/2 price tickets and still had an awesome seats

Tuesday

• Woke up with a sore throat
• Spent some time at the MET (Metropolitan Museum of Art)
• Flew home

What a fun trip it was! Tim is now half way done with his training and will be home in 3 more weeks! I can't wait. Today I am home in Parker, packing up my things, and then tomorrow I fly to SLC to move into our apartment! I'm actually really excited to unpack, arrange, organize, and set up our apartment so it will be ready to live in once we get married. This is such an exciting time in life and I am just loving it! 

One of the new WTC towers

Times Square (When did my baby brother get so tall!?)

Grand Central Station

Walking the Brooklyn Bridge (90+ degree heat with massive amounts of humidity, it felt like a sauna!)

While having lunch in Little Italy we discovered my brother, Tyler, has a striking resemblance to David

Sunday afternoon at Central Park

This is the fountain that Amy Adams sings and dances around in the movie, Enchanted

John Lennon memorial

Lunch in Little Italy, again it was blazing hot which explains the red faces

One of the neatest sacrament meetings, it was so beautiful

This is a 1 mile linear park built on an old railroad in the lower west side of Manhattan. You could see inside some super fancy neat apartments.

I fell in love with all the artwork, there was something beautiful everywhere!

Ok, so some of the art was a little strange ;)

SoHo. Tiny streets and insanely expensive apartments.

One of the World Trade Center towers, construction of one of the other towers, part of the memorial, and one of the fountain pools inside the memorial. 

This was the cutest play. It was the prequel to Peter Pan. We befriended the nicest little couple, Pierre and Warren, from Toronto, who were sitting next to us. 

5th Avenue

One of the neatest things was seeing New York City as we took off on the plane to head back home. That long strip of green you see in the middle is Central Park. 

What an amazing trip. I can't wait to go back someday. Maybe I will get to sneak in Tim's suitcases when he goes in the future :)

I am getting married in exactly 1 month to the best man I've ever met. Today I am overwhelmed by a feeling of gratitude. I am so happy to be at this point in my life. It hasn't been the easiest road to travel but I am so glad that I am here. Sometimes things in life are tough, but they make us so much stronger. I know it sounds silly and cliche but it honestly is the truth. It is amazing how much a person can grow in such a short amount of time.

2 years ago I was newly divorced, 19, broken, and lost in this big world. Everything I knew was gone and my world was shattered. I was bitter towards anything and everything. I pushed everything I loved out of my life. I fell away from the Gospel, I pushed family and friends out of my life, and lost myself. I put a halt on school at that point. I worked for about a year while I figured my life out. One sunny morning in May I woke up with a completely new perspective on life. I made a ton of changes in my life that day. I decided to move to Provo, Utah and get a fresh start in life. This was when I developed my deepest love for the Savior. I have never felt so close to my Heavenly Father than at this point in my life.

I enrolled in an Esthetics program after discovering my love of skin care. I started going to a singles ward again, started dating, and opened myself up to new friendships. At first I had to force a smile. I was so scared that somebody would figured out my "secret." That first summer was really tough for me.

The next fall I moved into a different apartment complex. I had an amazing ward that was extremely welcoming and I made a lot of great friendships. My nervousness started to melt away and I opened myself up. Eventually my smile came naturally as I eased into this new life of mine. I was genuinely happy for the first time in a long time.

 I met an amazing guy who became my very best friend. We would sit and talk for hours, cook delicious sunday dinners, and best of all just enjoy each other's company. By February we knew we wanted to spend forever together. Because I had already been married in the temple we knew it could take up to a year or longer to get my temple sealing cancelled. My best friend and love of my life proposed to me on February 11th, it was the happiest day of my life thus far. The miracle of miracles happened at the end of April when we received a letter from Salt Lake telling us that we were cleared to be sealed for time and all eternity. Tears filled our eyes as he wrapped his arms around me. Life still threw curveballs our way. I was scared after what had happened in my past, but Tim stuck with me through it all.

I've had pretty crappy health pretty much the whole time we have been dating but he has been such a trooper and loves me anyways. He has been there through numerous tests, emergency room visits, surgeries and more. He has been so supportive of me and loves me unconditionally through all my faults and weaknesses. I seriously have no idea how I got so lucky to deserve this special guy. 

 I could never be more thankful for him.

I guess what I'm trying to say through this whole post is to never be ashamed of you who you are. For 2 years I have kept my past a secret thinking that if people found out they would think something less of me. I am who I am because of my choices, decisions, and my past.  I have learned so much and I will take my past experiences and learn from them and become that much stronger. Sometimes do I wish that things had happened differently? Of course. The fact of the matter is that it didn't, and now it's my choice and my responsibility to shape my life starting now.

If you've made it to the end of this post I congratulate you. Thanks for listening to my ramblings. Whether nobody, 1 person, or 100 people read this message it doesn't really matter. If you are reading and you feel like you can't show all of your true colors because of a dark spot in your past I beg you to let it go. Embrace who you are and know that your Heavenly Father loves you. He has always loved you, loves you now, and that love will never cease.

I'm a little nervous to post this blog but if it can help even one person it would be completely worth it. To all my friends, family, and future family. Thank you for embracing me, loving me, and helping me to find my worth. You mean more to me than you will ever know.